I am fifty today

I am Fifty today – 16th December 2015

Second only to the womb’s warmth ever is
To be cushioned in mother’s arms.
This best eluded my mind’s recesses.

Eager crawls towards distant glitter and
Faltering steps righted by firm hand;
My growing grey cells shunned.

Vague images, a fluttering screen;
Double plaited self, a three room house,
Voiceless father figure, as flashes seen.

Huge grandpa’s home, in which
Scenes of dad’s final parting rouse;
Next few years time’s hands did douse.

Hop scotch, hide and seek, lengthy prattles
Were the prime matters until youth harked
Its coming; pain and blood on me marked.

Girlish dreams decorated the mirror,
School and friends enmeshed together,
Time spun a glorious veil in a whir.

Teen age and college days rolled on;
Betwixt then grand pa, grand ma and aunt
To a world never to return, moved on.

Vows of marriage knocked my door,
Then began a procession of partnership
And motherhood with a squalling son- a long tour.

Tiny hand clutching my finger,
Cackling laughter assuaging my hunger,
Waddled along my daughter – verily a joy harbinger.

Time and tide pulled me across the globe;
Into my life, teaching strung along to probe.
I learnt more than I taught and the joy stayed.

Partner in life taught me to love, care and work.
It is drudgery I felt while doing things I hated, but
When flowing river I became, the pain abated.

Like all others who came before me and went
I asked the right questions of life – what, how, why and when
In asking I was no special; so I stopped.

Play well, the cards dealt, is my motto
Amidst all, I yearn to be me, in toto.

To stand and savour the sun’ s warmth,
To smile at butterflies,
To marvel at the crawling ant,
To relish the dance of swaying leaves,
To soak in the cool shade,
To hear the skies whisper,
To live a million lives through books,
And to love and to be loved!

I am fifty today;
I yearn for another fifty this day!

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