Free writing

Mmm….let me see. The topic that I have been thinking in my mind is pain and pleasure.

I have always wanted to analyse these two aspects and so here it goes.
    A topic that seems lofty and weighed down, yet it is a day to day affair. If it is not the pure reflection of man’s- the egomaniac’s- selfish manifestation; then it is surely the masochistic/sadistic way of his expression. A sure double-sided single coin.

     It is a state of paradox and juxtaposition which co-exists. Ironical isn’t it? But a little more thought into these two happenings (or one?) keeping ourselves outside the circle of action will make things clearer I believe.

     Stepping out of the event and taking a critical analysis is difficult when you are an integral part of the same event. Separating the self- the thinking self, that part of man that analyses and puts words and explanations into everything happening to him- is extremely difficult. It is like asking you to analyse the strength of impact after you struck your little toe against the bed post , to eliminate the pain waves travelling through your nervous system and to calculate the time it will last and start to diminish- all this while it is “your” toe that is currently experiencing the pain.

In the normal course of action, such an event will either set off a series of insane expletives from your mouth, some screaming and bring the roof down kind of action, some beatings, some heavy cussing and even hurting others physically- the sadist in you takes over OR you say “nothing happened” while your face is contorted with pain and your eyes brimming with tears- the masochist in you silently bearing the pain.

So, where is the pleasure in this equation? The sadist takes pleasure in hurting others while his pain takes him over and the masochist enjoys in enduring his pain.

     This, “Either I hurt or others must hurt” is the basis for all actions that are prevalent in today’s world. Even if we take “love” as our topic of discussion in connection with the pain-pleasure equation, then too, we come across a close sadistic-masochistic parallel which strongly underlies the Love mantra in practice.

   Now, what is Love? This has been manifest since time immemorial in all spheres of man’s life on this earth. From each and every religious scripture, from the manifestos of science and technology, from literatures across the world, to the field of crime and punishment – we see LOVE.
  All religions say “love ALL, Love others like yourself, Work is worship so work what you love etc, etc.” Immense love for science led to discoveries and inventions; love for creation led to volumes and volumes of prose and poetry and from these sprung drama, dance and cinema; it is eventually love for self that led to crime and punishment.

If a sadist’s love is self-centred, it is reeking of pure pleasure in other’s pain, then definitely a masochist’s love is also self-centred as he takes pleasure in the pain taken upon himself.
Having thus analysed “love”, the next that is in direct link with, is “Hate”. Even this runs on the parallel that holds the Sadist and the Masochist alongside. Hate for others is our Sadist and hate for self is our Masochist.

Thinking on these lines, yes! I am convinced that “hate” too is a strong dual manifest of the human Sadistic/ Masochistic mind.

All “love and Hate” done, we can now move towards baser animal instincts- HUNGER! According to me HUNGER is just the name- a synonym for need. It is a need that encompasses Body and Soul and even Mind. When this HUNGER takes you over, there emerges the Sadist triumphantly who endeavours to only assuage his needs; beating, crushing and killing all in his path until he gets what he wants. On the other hand when you control this “Hunger”, when you deny feeding it, you suffer! There lies our Masochist letting go of his meals, his chance to fight, giving up on his rights, call what you may, only to bring pain upon himself.

Similarly such parallels could be drawn across all human emotions thereby concluding the existence of only two sects- Sadists and the Masochists. The Sadists who rule and live in pleasure and the Masochists who let themselves be ruled and live in pain. Bingo! Both pain and pleasure co-existing!

Next on the list is “SEX” – the most basic human expression that has driven one and many to create as well as destroy at the same time. Whether you couple sex with Love or Hate, with giving or taking, with yin or yang  ( another interesting concept- will come back to that later)-whichever way you look at it, the fundamental overriding functional aspect is either pain or pleasure and so it is either our Sadist in play or our Masochist or both. Quite often in SEX and PLEASURE we come across many expert observations that state – in “giving” we get pleasure. According to me, it is very relative and conditional. Unless the act of giving leads to direct receipt of exhilaration, it is NOT pleasure. It turns into pain. The giving of sexual pleasure should be like water giving itself to a river.

If, instead, it is like water flowing through a pipe, it is flowing and yet smothered within the confines of the walls, breathes the same air and just flows without spirit or life. Here is our Masochist- water in a confined pipe. And the vessel that receives it- the proud Sadist who gets it all and gives back none.

On the contrary if it is like water flowing in a river, it gurgles over an expanse of land with joy, caressing the sides and swells of the earth beneath, bouncing now and then over the small boulders and basking in the warmth of the sun, sometimes taking the torrential rain & the calm, chill air at night- but a definite part of the breathing/ living elements around, while it flows and thus gives and takes at the same time.

This is where and when the yin meets the yang, the day meets the night and mellow, the hot meets the cold to get warm and so forth. But this is rare!

Quite often the moment passes without recognition, without coming into anybody’s grasp. It is fleeting! It is there but yet not there! This is the orgasmic dying which is when the actual living takes place.
So the net result is either a scorching hot day-a Sadist taking his pleasure or a cold night- a Masochist living in pain.


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