Oh My God!

Writing 101, Day Five: Be Brief
by Cheri Lucas Rowlands
You stumble upon a random letter on the path. You read it. It affects you deeply, and you wish it could be returned to the person to which it’s addressed. Write a story about this encounter.

Today’s twist: Approach this post in as few words as possible.

After the early morning walk I sat down on the park bench to catch my breath;my blood pressure showing its colours on my flushed face. Ah! What’s this?
I sat on something.

A letter addressed to  Sara.

Me?Only name and no address. The envelope was open and so I got curious and opened and read the few lines.

image

Sara, please come and get me. He is keeping me  a slave in his room. He makes me do all dirty stuff. My body aches every where. Mom knows, but she only cries. Sometimes in the front, sometimes at the back and in all places. I don’t think I can live any longer like this. Please take me away…. your sister,
Maria

I was shocked after reading these lines. Is this a joke?  I don’ t have a sister. Then to whom does this belong ? I don’t know any other Sara . Oh my God! Shivering more I decided to hand in the letter to the police.

I would have but moved a few steps when I heard a rough voice behind me,
“Mam, that letter belongs to me. Give me.”
I startled and turned around to face a unshaven, unkempt 40 year old male, blood shot eyes and my mind screamed that this letter tells all about this man and the girl is stuck with this sucker. Anger seethed and I asked
” Yours! No . It is mine. I am Sara”, saying so I began to move away faster.
Next thing I knew was  something hitting me hard on my head and I whelped and fell flat and woke up when the park was full and kids staring at me.
No sign of that man or the letter. I began to cry. Just then my daughter Julie who was looking for me pushed the kids aside and called out,

” Mom, who asked you to come out for walk without any of us to go with you? What happened…?she said.
When I told her that I was hit by an evil man and we must save poor Maria, she looked at me incredulously and shared a meaning ful look with my son John who was by her side.

He said, pulling me up to my feet, ” Yes mama, we will definitely save Maria”.

I heard Julie talk to someone on her mobile telling them ” yes doctor, she did the same today too and yes we shall bring her immediately”.

I suddenly had a fear similar to that of Maria gripped me and I fainted again.

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11 thoughts on “Oh My God!

  1. I like your take on this assignment. There’s a surreal, sinister nature to it that appeals to me.
    I think that the strength of your work is the description, especially once the man in question makes his appearance. The dream (nightmare?) quality stands out and is an EXCELLENT touch.
    The flow of it is off a bit. You may want to go back over and double check some of the punctuation, in particular. Spelling errors tended to take me out of the story a bit, so you may want to go back and do some editing.
    Overall, nice work!

  2. Hi, That’s great imagination……well comprehended and sequence flow immaculate.
    Reflects deep thoughts in background getting reflected as though its inconsistent in approach while in reality, that’s how it flows when inner feelings are actioned.
    Well done and keep it up!!!

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